On running and parenting

When I was in my 20s, I started distance running. It started with a half marathon with my dad for fun when I was about 26 and, continues in fits and stops. After moving to the San Francisco Bay Area with its perfect running weather, though, it quickly accelerated to several half marathons a year and, eventually, a marathon and Ironman 70.3.

And then I had kids.

Don’t get me wrong — I love my kids, and I’m not about to use them as an excuse for not exercising. But I didn’t realize quite how much being responsible for little, helpless humans complicates the simple notion of going for a 30-40 minute run (or really any other kind of exercise).

I used to think nothing of squeezing in a 30-minute run post-work and pre-happy hour with friends. I was running in San Francisco along the waterfront with a breeze, so combined with my conversational pace, I wasn’t worried about getting too sweaty or unkempt for those post-run plans. Post-run, I’d quickly freshen up in the work bathroom and off I went!

Now, I’m acutely aware that a 30-minute run is not real. A 30-minute run actually means 5 minutes of throwing on clothes/tracking down headphones, then getting bombarded with existential toddler questions about life for 10 minutes at the front door, 30-ish minutes of actual running (with perhaps some walk breaks in there to double check the baby monitor alert that popped up multiple times even though the kids are fully supervised by their perfectly capable father), and hopefully 10 minutes of attempting to change and shower before anyone realizes you’re home (if you were successful in avoiding any additional front-door questions on your return home). Also, I’m in North Carolina now, so generally, that means a very hot and very humid run with lots of sweat. Let’s not get into whether that leaves me looking in any way suitable for post-run plans (it doesn’t). Fortunately, I’m happily coupled up with aforementioned father of the kids, and my post-run plans these days tend to be more in the vein of "Do we pick the blue box or the purple box of mac and cheese for dinner tonight?”

Don’t get me started on the time commitment it takes for getting around to swimming (my other preferred exercise method).

Chaos aside, I do understand how important it is to show my kids that both their father and I are prioritizing our health by exercising (among other things). As a breezy 20-something, I was running primarily because I wanted to fit into tight jeans and look good on dates. While I still would love to fit into said jeans, running is now more about physical and mental health so I can handle all of the things life (and parenting) throw at me. My kids seem to observe literally every single thing I do, so I want them to know that Mom is a human outside of just being Mom. And it’s okay to be more than just Mom and prioritize your well-being and non-parenting interests, even if it’s a bit complicated.

Also, I’m a wine nerd and need to counterbalance that hobby with a healthier one.

My relationship with running has constantly evolved since it started. Today, it’s perhaps more important to me than it’s ever been before, even even if I spend far less time doing it compared to previous years. It’s about so much more than the actual activity itself! That’s why the time I do spend with it is all the more critical and impactful in ways beyond the size of my waist. I imagine that relationship will continue to change as I age and priorities continue to shift.

I’m just happy to be on the ride.